The Things In My Brain: Drake and Baby Baths: I drove by the University of Phoenix. In Phoenix. Lately, I’ve been laughing like But now I just realized that people must think I’m a huge jerk What did the abacus say to the finger? You can always count on me. Amethyst Voice: uhhhh… steven? Last night I saw a guy whose key chain was like 4 beanie babies just dangling out of his pocket He was Asian Sticking your tongue out in pictures doesn’t make them 800% better Trust me, i’ve tried. Why are guys horrible at opening up packaged food? you know what they say: water is the water of life. Beat Bobby Flay is actually a show. Chef abuse is not entertainment Do you think every time Drake gives a little baby a bath he says: started from your bottom now we’re here what’s with white people using the brown, black and yellow hands for the thumbs up emoji? can they do that? old lady: well i don’t know, you tell me! ointment sounds like… just a bad word, man…. cheesy voice: Hi Sharks! My name’s Intellex Plus and I’m here seeking a 1 million dollar investment for a 2% stake in my company called THIS HOODED SWEATSHIRT! so, who wants to get hoodwinked by me?